Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
