a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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