so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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