i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
