On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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