Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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