Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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