i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
