We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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