im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
