Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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