that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize