Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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