Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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