AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
