the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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