He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
