I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
