I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize