"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Pants are for mortals
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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