It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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