So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize