So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Buhtt sex?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
