Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
