My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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