So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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