Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
