Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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