I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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