I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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