Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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