I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
