Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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