we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
