Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
