I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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