you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
