LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
