I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
