Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
vagina is talking i cant
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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