margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
