Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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