Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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