Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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