I think scott just propositioned me for sex
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize