Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
