Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
