Me. At least after what I've been through.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
