I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
