Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize