Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
