Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
