hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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