My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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