FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
