DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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