He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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