i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
