i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
