My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
