butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
