I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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