Barsexuality is the new black.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
