He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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